Rules for Improving Your Writing
  • Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

  • Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

  • And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

  • It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

  • Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)

  • Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

  • Be more or less specific.

  • Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

  • Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

  • No sentence fragments.

  • Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

  • Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

  • Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

  • One should NEVER generalize.

  • Comparisons are as bad as clichés.

  • Don't use no double negatives.

  • Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

  • One-word sentences? Eliminate.

  • Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

  • The passive voice is to be ignored.

  • Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

  • Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

  • DO NOT use exclamation points and all caps to emphasize!!!

  • Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

  • Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.

  • Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

  • Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

  • If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

  • Puns are for children, not groan readers.

  • Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

  • Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

  • Who needs rhetorical questions?

  • Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

  • The passive voice should never be used.

  • Do not put statements in the negative form.

  • A writer must not shift your point of view.

  • Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences of 10 or more words, to  their antecedents.

  • Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

  • If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

  • Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

  • Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

  • Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.

  • Always pick on the correct idiom.

  • The adverb always follows the verb.

  • Be careful to use the rite homonym.

  • Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

 

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